Dip, Dodge, Duck & Dive I did and boy do I feel it now. Commando rolls, evading balls while rolling around on the ground, over excitement from sugar highs… that would be the great Wadeboski. Long gone are the old touch rugby days, it is a struggle just getting out of my seat now after winning the work Dodgeball tournament. A blessing and a curse rolled into one really.
Ye olde competitive Wade came back to the fore after a long absence from team sport. Mildly amusing and thoroughly entertaining a tournament it was, with girls being blasted in the head, balls caught between the legs and a few minor injuries. The Great Wadeboski formed the team, named the team ‘Super K and the Great Inconsequential’, organised the outfits and sang the theme tune. Woof Woof.
Our round robin series was made easier by a no show of one of the teams. A rather nervous start ensued with my self-proclaimed blistering acceleration nullified by consistently late take-offs to grab the ball.
However, the mighty throwing of our towering Godzilla, a certain ‘Big Love Batey’, combined with the titular ‘Super K’ quickly eliminated our opponents in the first set. You play to your strengths – and giving your ball to the mightiest thrower is one of them.
The second set ended up a disaster with little old Wade stranded by himself against 5 people. Falling on my arse quickly followed, along with some strange movements that roughly resembled a snake slithering on the ground in an attempt to dodge the myriad of balls.
You live and learn. We hammered them in the 3rd set to win. Our 4 boy / 2 girl team was then tasked with taking down a team of 6 guys, which we did in straight sets. Game three was tougher but ended in a win.
By now the ‘Great Inconsequential’ had settled into a pattern. ‘Ritzy Maritz’, our resident South African, along with Bridie “I wear jeans to athletic events” O’Ashburton, had taken to hanging out on the wings.
I roughly stood with my hands on hips watching… waiting… to scream “we hit him – HE’S OUT” at the Ref. We then sat around until the other round robin had concluded.
In the meantime, a bit of table tennis was played and err… well… I consumed eight chocolates… yep… that is right… eight chocolates – which lead to a right old sugar overload.
The final was a real tussle. We won the first set when time ran out after I implemented some successful delaying tactics. It works in international rugby – so why not employ it? We had four people left – they had two.
Second set was a bit of a disaster. Matt “If there is a ref I’ll bloody well goddamn argue with him if I want” Super K ended up solo. Super K stood up against overwhelming odds, evading repeated throws with a variety of slow-time Matrixesque moves (8 or 9 in a row) but like all good men, he eventually succumbed…
So it was down to the third set. I must admit it did get down to the wire until we managed a few Switcheroos – which lead to Marius’s favourite moment of the night when a rampaging Incredible Wade came back into the game, charged up to the middle and let loose a powerful throw only to have it land two metres in front of him… Oh well…
We won and what did we learn? Girls can wear jeans and win. Wade is too competitive. Real men wear headbands. Playing Dodgeball can just as good as watching the movie.
Well played Governor… Well played…








